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Writer's pictureDr. Kris Boksman, C.Psych

Understanding Marriage Counselling: How It Can Save and Strengthen Your Relationship

Marriage is a journey filled with joy, challenges, and growth. While the bond between couples is often strong, it’s not uncommon to face difficulties that seem insurmountable. This is where marriage counselling, also known as couples therapy, comes into play. In this article, we’ll explore what marriage counselling entails, its benefits, various therapeutic approaches, and why it might be the right step for you and your partner.

"Effective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Marriage counselling can teach you how to communicate better with your partner." - American Psychological Association
An Asian couple stands at the island in a sunny, white kitchen. The woman is hugging the man from behind and the man appears to be preparing some food, with sliced oranges on the cutting board in front of him.

What is Marriage Counselling?

Marriage counselling involves a trained therapist working with couples to address issues and improve their relationship. The goal is to resolve conflicts, enhance communication, and rebuild trust and intimacy. Therapists use various methods to help couples understand each other’s perspectives and develop healthier interaction patterns.

Why Consider Marriage Counselling?

Effective Conflict Resolution: Couples often struggle to solve conflicts on their own. A therapist provides a neutral ground to discuss issues openly and find solutions together.

Improved Communication: One of the primary focuses of marriage counselling is to enhance communication skills, ensuring both partners can express their needs and feelings effectively.

Strengthening Bonds: Counselling can help rekindle the emotional and physical intimacy that might have diminished over time, bringing partners closer.

"Seeking help before conflicts escalate can save relationships and promote long-term happiness." - Canadian Mental Health Association
Two couples are enjoying a picnic on a doc that extends into green lake water on a sunny day. They are smiling and eating and drinking.

Is Marriage Counselling for You?

Marriage counselling isn’t only for relationships in crisis. It can benefit any couple looking to improve their relationship dynamics. Here are some scenarios where counselling can be particularly helpful:

  • Young Couples: Newlyweds can build a strong foundation by learning effective communication and conflict resolution skills early on.

  • Couples Willing to Improve: Those eager to enhance their relationship and work on personal growth can greatly benefit from therapy.

  • Proactive Couples: Seeking help before conflicts reach a breaking point can prevent significant damage to the relationship.

Types of Marriage Counselling

1. Gottman Method: Developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this method focuses on identifying and addressing destructive behaviors such as criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. It emphasizes building positive interactions and managing conflicts constructively.

2. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): EFT helps couples understand and change their emotional responses, fostering a stronger emotional bond. It focuses on creating secure emotional connections and improving attachment.

3. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT addresses negative thought patterns and behaviors that affect the relationship. It helps couples develop healthier ways of thinking and interacting.

4. Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT): SFT is goal-oriented and focuses on finding practical solutions to current issues. It encourages couples to envision their desired future and work towards it.

5. Discernment Counselling: This short-term therapy helps couples decide whether to work on their relationship or consider separation. It’s particularly useful when partners have different views about the future of their relationship.

Two women are sitting on a loveseat in a living room holding video game controllers. One woman has a nose ring and short hair and is looking forward, and the other woman is leaning at her, looking at her. Both women are smiling.

Reasons to Go for Marriage Counselling

Couples may seek counselling for various reasons, including:

  • Growing apart and feeling disconnected

  • Frequent financial disputes

  • Infidelity or trust issues

  • Constant arguments and bickering

  • Lack of intimacy and sexual dissatisfaction

  • Major life changes like retirement or empty nest syndrome

  • Considering separation or divorce

"Marriage counselling isn't just for troubled relationships; it's a proactive step towards a stronger bond." - Ontario Psychological Association

What Happens in Marriage Counselling?

The counselling process typically begins with an evaluation session where the therapist assesses the couple’s issues and goals. This may involve individual sessions with each partner to understand their perspectives. Once the therapist identifies the core issues, regular sessions are scheduled to work on:

  • Honesty and Vulnerability: Encouraging partners to be open about their feelings and needs.

  • Anger Management: Teaching techniques to control anger and express it healthily.

  • Reviving Romance: Helping couples rediscover intimacy and affection.

  • Effective Communication: Training in expressing thoughts and emotions clearly and constructively.

  • Appreciation Over Judgment: Fostering a habit of appreciating rather than criticizing each other.

Two men in a side embrace affectionately look into each other's eyes. They appear to be dressed for a wedding. One man is wearing a wedding ring. The other man is wearing glasses. They are wearing matching blue suits with bow-ties.

Steps to Start Marriage Counselling

1. Communicate with Your Partner: Initiating the conversation about counselling can be challenging, especially in a strained relationship. Approach your partner with empathy and express your desire to strengthen your relationship through professional help.

2. Search for a Counsellor: Look for a certified marriage counsellor with experience in handling similar issues. Research and choose someone who makes both partners feel comfortable and understood.

Are You Ready for a Transformation?

Marriage counselling can be a transformative experience for many couples. According to studies, around 49% of couples seek counselling at some point, with about 70% finding it positively impacts their lives. The key to successful counselling lies in the willingness to change and improve. When both partners are committed to the process, they can rebuild a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.

Connect with our expert partnership therapists at Limestone Clinic to get started addressing how to optimize your relationship, today. Call 613-877-4148 and take the first steps, together.

By embracing the journey of marriage counselling, couples can navigate their challenges with professional guidance, emerging with a deeper understanding and a renewed connection. At Limestone Clinic Kingston Counselling & Psychotherapy, we are dedicated to helping you and your partner achieve a healthier, happier relationship.

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